nothing before them.

If you didn't know, or hadn't noticed, I took a blogging break for a good chunk of December. I'd planned to spend time in a quiet Starbucks (by the your Starbucks ever calm and quiet? Mine isn't.), pondering my feelings in blogging, social media, and all of the work I put into it. I envisioned a pros and cons chart with weighty feelings and emotions on both sides. But, those things didn't happen. The Christmas season indeed kept me busy and if I'm being honest, in a lot of ways I didn't miss this space.

It always strikes me as funny when someone responds to the fact that I blog and make money through it like this -- "Oh, that sounds easy. I should start blogging." I'm not a big enough fool to think that it's the hardest job out there, but it certainly isn't an easy one if you're doing it at a money making level. It can take a lot of time and commitment and I've shared my woes on that already, so I was really hoping that this break would provide some clarity on where I'd go with this blog. But I'm not sure it did. 

However, I've definitely made some new "rules" and guidelines for myself in regards to blogging and social media, and they can pretty much be summed up in this... husband, my son, my future kids, my family. Nothing before them. No deadline or payout is worth pushing aside time and memories with them. My blog provides some pretty great opportunities -- both financially and memory making, if you will -- but none of those are worth accomplishing or receiving, and feeling like I've put my family second.

I don't do things half way; and while that certainly can be a positive characteristic, I've learned that when you try to do multiple things to the full extent, you either wear yourself out or end up half assing something...neither are fun. And while I'm still not sure the full role this blog will play (I'm praying about that daily), I know that my role as a mother is not one that I want to do half way.

So, nothing before blog post, no tweet, no Facebook share, no DIY project, no recipe pictures. Sure, those things can happen at nap time or bed time, but I want to be 100% present in the awake moments. I know that I will never regret being fully present. 

So what will I (hopefully) be doing in the future with this blog?

I'm hoping to get back to sharing more of my heart, more of our daily events, like I used to. I want to open up way more about our adoption...I've had some struggles that I just haven't been brave enough to share. I want to share how Cody and I met, because I always love reading those series. I want to share real, easy DIYs for the "I like to craft but I'm not super crafty" mommas (like me!). I want to share what I consider to be some of the darkest parts of me, and how the Lord has completely redeemed them...another thing I haven't quite felt brave enough to write on.

I hope you'll continue to join me in my writings and my journey. None of my frustrations in this blogging world have ever come from my you. I consider it an honor that you continue to show up and read and converse. Thank you, that means the world to me.