i don't do change well.


Dear kids,

I cried on the first night of our honeymoon. Your poor father. We traveled to and were vacationing in a city I had spent a lot of time in as a child and I just couldn't escape the memories I had there. I was, of course, happy to be married, but so keenly aware that life was changing at a rapid pace.

You see, I don't do change well. 

I'm going to need you to be patient with me in times of change. There are many (MANY) times I'll be the one imparting patience on you, but sometimes I need it too. I am a control freak to the core and change makes me scared, overwhelmed, out of control.

I was scared of the change of going to college. I cried a lot my freshman year, but eventually loved my university. I was scared of graduating from college. I worried I'd hate teaching, but I really, really loved it. I was scared I wouldn't ever get the hang of motherhood, and I'm certainly not an expert, but I love you fiercely...and I think that's enough most days.

I know our future will hold a lot of change. You'll grow, and change, and most likely move away; and I'm sure I'll question if I can handle those things...but the one thing I've learned about change is that I always get through it and rise to it. 

In my life, the things that have always seemed like the biggest mess, always end up being the most beautiful things. I know that that is God working IN me and FOR me.

I pray you'll learn this too.



Read here, to learn more about this series.