Times Of Waiting

Today, if I'm being 100% honest, I'm letting the worry and anxiety take me over.

Here's the thing about international adoption...you're dealing with another country, a different government. And tomorrow, if they wanted, the country we are adopting from (read why we aren't sharing the name of the country, here) could close their doors to international adoption. And they wouldn't be entirely wrong to do that. That is their right.

I guess I always knew that that was a possibility, but trying to accept that truth is hard. Right now we know that the country we are adopting from is considering making some changes in their current standards. There's no telling if the changes could affect us or if we'll be "grandfathered" in if changes do occur. I'm thankful for our agency who has been so open and informative about these changes even when it causes concern.

Plain and simple...it's nerve wracking. It's nerve racking knowing that a country's government could choose to change everything. Change your plans. Change the future of your adoption. Change your hopes. Change your dreams. It's a truth you have to accept when it comes to international adoption. It's a risky process. 

Some days I feel like I have accepted that truth. I feel confident and assured. And days like today, I find myself curled up on the couch, worrying while Gunner naps in the next room. 

I always thought that people wanted the adoption process to go quickly because they wanted their child home as soon as possible; and, of course, that's true, but I also find myself wanting it to pass quickly enough that there isn't time for standards and rules to change. That's where I am today, folks. I know that isn't happy or positive, but it's real.

I'm thankful that the Lord is reminding me that he has always, always blessed me and been faithful during times of waiting so I'm clinging to that truth. And, I'm reciting this familiar verse over and over in my head, trying to imprint it on my worrisome heart...

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, 
to give you a future and a hope." -- JEREMIAH 29:11

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