Thankful For His Patience


It's been a particularly rough few weeks in our house. I suppose you could say months, really. In the past three months Gunner has had an ear infection, RSV, and the flu. We're seeing an ENT tomorrow because of his "chronic" ear infections. Kind of frustrating for the mom who really hoped that staying at home with her son would keep him from getting a lot of sicknesses that seem to be passed around day cares. 

Last week, Gunner didn't sleep much which, of course, means we didn't sleep much. On a particularly rough night Gunner pretty much screamed and cried non stop for five hours, even when I was holding him. At the time I thought it was teething and a little cold he had developed, but after developing a rash and putting other pieces together in his behavior, I'm thinking we might be fighting the results of a milk allergy/sensitivity.

All I know is that on that night I felt like an absolute failure. I couldn't fix it so I found myself crying right along side him and asking God how I was supposed to do this on my own. I felt my patience wearing thin and my body was so tired. 

And then I heard that soft whisper that is so often drowned out by my thoughts, my doubts, my goals. That soft whisper that you often hear in the dead of night or a quiet drive with the windows down. I'm often so busy and my mind is so loud that I don't hear the Lord's voice until I'm pretty much forced to shut up. 

He's reminding me again that I can't do any of this without Him. I'm extremely prideful, a true "I can do it myself" personality and sometimes it's hard to need others, even the Lord who I depend on for my every breath. Proverbs 16:18 says "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." What truth. On those days and nights when I feel like everything is going wrong, I quickly realize that I've had too much pride to take those matters to the Lord. Luckily, I serve a God who allows me to be prideful, allows me to fall, and then picks me up again and again. 

Are you as thankful for His patience as I am?
 
 
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