I always have high expectations...of myself, of others, of events...it's not always a bad thing. My high expectations of myself have always caused me to work harder, push farther. My high expectations of others can cause them to do the same, I often saw my students achieve things they never thought they could, because I expected them to. But my high expectations of events? That rarely works out in my favor.
Last Friday we planned to go to a "pumpkin patch" (read: a big pile of pumpkins on the side of the road) at a local church. The pumpkins are usually overpriced but it feels more fall like to buy them there than at the grocery store. I pictured us slowly walking the rows of pumpkins, Gunner crawling amongst them. We'd take our time picking the perfect pumpkin to carve and we'd pick up a baby one too. And I'd get the perfect picture of Gunner amongst the pumpkins.
Instead, it was really cold and really windy. The kind of wind that you can hardly stand upright in. Gunner isn't a fan of the cold, it completetly zaps his little personality. So, we quickly ran about the rows, grabbed a pumpkin, and remembered last minute that we wanted a picture of G amongst the pumpkins. He was freezing and he wasn't a fan of having his picture taken.
We laughed about it on the way home and I prayed to myself that our carving experience would be just like I expected.
I planned to wear Gunner in the Ergo while I snapped pictures of Cody carving. Gunner would stick his hand in the pumpkin guts and love it (are you laughing at my expectations yet?). Of course, Gunner had absolutely no desire to be in the carrier. We gave in, put him in his high chair, gave him some Cheerios, and propped up his mini TV in hopes that he'd be entertained long enough.
The pumpkin carving wasn't nearly as fun as I remembered as a kid. But really, nothing is as fun when you know you have to clean up the mess. And did you know not having the right kind of pumpkin carving knife can make things difficult
and it can completely ruin a knife from your really nice knife block? Gunner got fussy so Cody took him to play in his play room and I was left to finish carving the pumpkin. It was a simple carving, just the word "BOO!" but in my annoyance of things not going my way, I accidentally carved through a few lines I wasn't supposed too and the "B" of "BOO" became a big, gaping hole.
Failure. While Cody bathed Gunner, I bagged up the ruined pumpkin and put it on the curb for trash pickup. I cried a few silly tears while I cooked dinner and embarrassingly admitted to Cody how bummed I was with the whole experience.
Today, though, I'm glad I snapped a few pictures through out the day.
Things aren't always what I expect. In fact, they rarely are. I never dreamed I'd meet my soul mate at the age of 17, get married at the age of 20, and have a baby at the age of 23...I always thought I'd do those things "late" in life. I never dreamed I'd find my ultimate satisfaction in diaper changing and cleaning up after a little tornado of a boy. But here I am, perfectly satisfied in this life.
And the pumpkin patch, pumpkin carving experience, it wasn't at all what I expected. But that's okay, because it seems like things always turn out better than I plan and expect.