Mommy Wars


Can all of us mommas just agree that motherhood is hard? Sure, it's the good kind of hard. The kind of hard that has a lot of rewards and so much joy, but it's still hard. 

There are major decisions to make and major questions to ask...

How long should I breastfeed? What if breastfeeding doesn't work out? If it doesn't work out, does that make me a horrible mother? Cloth diapering or no cloth diapering? When should I move my baby out of my room and into his own? When should I introduce a pacifier? If my son flips on his stomach at night, should I go in and flip him back over? Attachment parenting, could I handle that? Does letting my child "cry it out" for a few minutes make me a horrible mom? Should I use a humidifier in his room? His nose seems awfully stuffy. Does he have a cold? Does he have a fever? Maybe the fever is just because of his teething.  

Yeah, welcome to my brain most days. And if you're a mom, I'd venture to say that you brain is pretty similar to mine most days.

Last week, I wrote a post about "sleep training" where I described The Progressive Waiting Approach that we have been using. I wrote about what had been working for us. I didn't write this post to say that I knew everything or to say that what we have done is what works best for everyone. In fact, I wrote somewhat of a disclaimer at the bottom of the post to keep people from thinking that I was doing that. 

However, if you happened to read the comments on that post, you might've noticed that not everyone got that message. In fact, one particular person (the dreaded "anonymous") accused me of being "cruel" and stated that my methods were "ineffective." 

I'm not writing this post to call this person out or even to defend myself. Gunner is my child and I will do what I think is best. I am writing this post to ask one major question...why attack each other when we can build each other up?

Motherhood is hard enough without being criticized and judged by other mothers. Maybe you don't agree with my choices and maybe I don't always understand yours, but instead of hate, couldn't we just say "so sorry you're going through that" or "I'm so glad you've found what works for you."

Because those days when baby has had a blowout and the dog just got mud all over the carpet all while you're already running late are difficult enough without the judgement of others. In fact, a little love and support might make them a little easier. 

I can promise the next time you're having one of those days or the next time you post about what's working for your child, I won't judge. In fact, I'll comment and say "so happy for you!" 

Are you willing to make that promise to?